FPQ - Frequently Posed Queries
Q: When and how do I apply Schermann Aftershave Tonic?
A: One applies Schermann Aftershave Tonic thusly: After shaving the face, rinsing the face with cold water and drying (either by hand-patting with a towel or with an electrically-powered device) the face, tilt the bottle being held in one hand into the palm of the other hand, partially blocking the aperture of the bottle with an index finger: this inhibits the flow of the tonic to a responsibly measured rate. Set the bottle down and distribute the tonic into the palms of both hands and apply to the face. Reapply as dictated by the needs of your skin, atmospheric conditions and other considerations.
Note: Schermann Aftershave Tonic is not formulated for use by shavers who utilize electric shavers or any citizen under the age of 25. In order of most-preferred to least-preferred, the ideal man for the tonic is one who shaves either with a (1) straight razor or (2) safety razor or (3) disposable razor. It is widely held that disposable razors (especially plastic ones) are the most effeminate mode of shaving for a gentleman and the most destructive of the environment.
Q: Why does Schermann Aftershave Tonic not use an aperture reducer (small plastic insert in the mouth of the bottle) ?
A: Herr Schermann, President, Founder and Chief Chemist, believes there is far too much plastic about; therefore, he strives to minimize the use of said material - a material that fouls the environment, harms wildlife and eventually finds its way into the human food chain. Simple placement of a single finger (most commonly the index finger) of one hand over the aperture as the bottle is tipped into the waiting palm of the other allows the user to dispense the appropriate amount without the need of an aperture reducer. Moreover, aperture reducers are better fit for soy sauce or tabasco, but hardly apropo for a gentleman's grooming product.
Note: Schermann Aftershave Tonic is not formulated for use by shavers who utilize electric shavers or any citizen under the age of 25. In order of most-preferred to least-preferred, the ideal man for the tonic is one who shaves either with a (1) straight razor or (2) safety razor or (3) disposable razor. It is widely held that disposable razors (especially plastic ones) are the most effeminate mode of shaving for a gentleman and the most destructive of the environment.
Q: Why does Schermann Aftershave Tonic not use an aperture reducer (small plastic insert in the mouth of the bottle) ?
A: Herr Schermann, President, Founder and Chief Chemist, believes there is far too much plastic about; therefore, he strives to minimize the use of said material - a material that fouls the environment, harms wildlife and eventually finds its way into the human food chain. Simple placement of a single finger (most commonly the index finger) of one hand over the aperture as the bottle is tipped into the waiting palm of the other allows the user to dispense the appropriate amount without the need of an aperture reducer. Moreover, aperture reducers are better fit for soy sauce or tabasco, but hardly apropo for a gentleman's grooming product.